First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
