Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize