Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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