Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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