Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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