Quick, to the slutcave!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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