never play flip cup with pint glasses
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
