How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize