Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
