I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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