I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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