Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize