dude i'm inner monologue high
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just googled if crying burns calories
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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