Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
