friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
