ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
