My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
