That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize