I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
