But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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