Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
