Plan B is the new Plan A
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
