honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
