She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
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No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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