Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
