Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
