have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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