I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
