It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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