No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
