Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize