Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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