I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I am one with the molecules
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
