im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
