her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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