i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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