college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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