woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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