I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i came on her dog
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
being pregnant is like rehab
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
