You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
