Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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