she was so not down for the gang bang
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
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All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
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This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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