Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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