Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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