dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
