I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize