Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy

(1-313): View more from Michigan

You shut your mouth

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(727): View more from Florida

please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(623): View more from Arizona

Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me

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