Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.