I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.