dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.