He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
