i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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