She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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