I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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