She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
