what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
