That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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