why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
